Lesson 1.5 - The perfectionism loop
Hey you! We’re in lesson 5 of this first module.
This is a short lesson, but I thought it was important to emphasize that perfectionism doesn’t just happen, like randomly on a Tuesday morning, and that each moment of perfectionism isn’t separate.
Perfectionism is a loop, a vicious cycle that sucks us under, deeper and deeper every time.
Here’s how it works.
Generally, perfectionists establish unachievable high standards. We tend to see our self-worth as being based on our ability to meet the excessive standards we set for ourselves.
As a result, we continually experience negative consequences of establishing such excessive goals, but we don’t alter our expectations because ‘perfection’ is the only goal, the only true measure, right?
You see how this is a continual loop?
We rarely achieve our excessive goals. Our confidence gets crushed by our high standards every time. Instead of taking a step back and realizing that perfectionism is not the solution but the culprit, we step up our perfectionist game. We think that if only we reached perfection and worked harder and pleased harder, the next time we’d achieve our goals.
Instead of stepping back and taking some time to question what we’re doing, we step up and ask even more of ourselves. Because we can’t bear the thought that it’s us. It’s always the process, or the circumstances, or someone else, never us.
This perfectionistic loop is not only exhausting but also dangerous.
Because no one is perfect all the time. Eventually we're going to fail. Eventually, our luck of being good at everything we try is going to run out. Eventually, we're going to disappoint someone or come in second. And by eventually, I mean, a lot.
Perfectionists see these fails as deeply personal. As defining. As a statement about what the world thinks of us as people. Perfectionism is a self-fulfilling prophecy of low self-esteem.
This perfectionistic loop is why previous attempts at overcoming perfectionism haven’t worked. Spending less time on Facebook, saying ‘Done is better than perfect’ to yourself, and other random things, don’t break that vicious cycle of perfectionism.
This step-by-step, action-packed Perfectionist Bootcamp process will give you a much better chance at successfully overcoming perfectionism. There’s no worksheet with this lesson. This lesson is all about gaining a deeper understanding about how perfectionism works. But, don’t worry, the upcoming modules is when we’re going to work on breaking the perfectionism loop.